Reflections On A Sabbatical: Part 3
The last (for now) instalment of learnings from my three month sabbatical
Real Talk
It’s kind of crazy how many things come to the surface when you finally stop. Every so often I would get a flashback, an epiphany and even moments of full cringe at an overreaction I had. I had all these realisations and thoughts around how I want to show up differently in world and for my self, remaining impactful but not at the expense of me
I’m sure there will be plenty more reflections on my sabbatical. In case you missed them, here’s part one and part two. These will surface as I ease myself back into work. As I release my debut book. As the chaos that I can’t control (the world! Politics! Dickheads on the internet!) ensues. But here are a few of my final thoughts on how I approached and experienced my sabbatical. For now.Â
New Boundaries: I did a good job communicating my boundaries to my Glitch team and work friends. I would work out my needs from my boyfriend, family and friends a lot earlier and keep them updated on what I needed from them particularly around the trauma healing work. I do wish I had been brave enough at that point in March to ask for my book publication date to be pushed back 3 months. Nevertheless, alongside weeks of rest I was able to practise new boundaries with the book development process and also have a healthier relationship with this career opportunity.
Health Over Wealth: Health is really the primary wealth that matters: my body and my sense of self most importantly. It’s truly an expression of my self care, worth and love for myself. Realistically speaking this *does* involve money as we live in a world where water, heating and getting to nature costs. I’ve set new day rates for work in order to take into account the things I need to do to attend to my body's needs. I am NO LONGER constipated (I did say this was going to be some real talk), which had previously been caused by stress, so my digestive system was just suffering. My health takes priority which is why I’m much more flexible when it comes to work now.
Healing Doesn’t Happen All At Once: They say that healing is definitely not ‘linear’ but I don’t find that phrase helpful. Instead I find it helpful to see it as an onion. Our bodies build up with stresses and blockages that need to be unpeeled slowly, with both discomfort and relief each time. I’ve been trying to remain focused on listening and accepting my body for where it's at, and it’s forced me to reestablish boundaries – including with myself. This chick no longer persists but listens to her body.
Patience And Comfort Reign: I’ve learnt how to be so much more patient, and I notice it more in my breathing and general way I’m interacting with the world. To the point that I’m making TikTok videos and Insta Reels, (Gen Z watch out). I’m embracing Aunty comfort like Crocs and taking the lift when I’m low on energy.
Energy For Pleasure: I can hear and feel music again. The fog is lifting and I can hear the bass and feel the vibrations. So much so that me and my Crocs went to a Dancehall, Bashment and Afrobeats rave at 1am after waking up from a 10pm-12am nap. I got ready and even had time to wash my ‘fro before heading into Lisbon for one of the best nights out in a long time.Â
Unlearn/Relearn
Unlearn
Rest during my sabbatical help me stop and see the signs of:
Overworking
When to communicate my needs
When I was doing too much to prevent a mistake
Relearn
My body’s signals. I’ve literally been dating my body to understand my needs and to genuinely meet them – and not through numbing or unhelpful distractions. I’ve been booking-ending my days with breath work, silent meditation, hot then cold showers, yoga and expressive writing with the intention to soothe my nervous system and attend to my needs. It’s been such an anchoring experience and I believe was a huge catalyst for my recovery.
