Going Back to Uni was unexpectedly and powerfully healing
I was invited to give a keynote speech 'Feeling Unprepared for adulthood' at my old University, the London School of Economics last month and my inner child is soothed.
First, happy Leo Season -Woo!
Second, let me address the SPACE in the room. Yes it has been a while since my last Substack in Oct 2022. As much as I enjoyed writing and building a community with you all, something on my to-do list had to go while buying a house. I’m not quite ready to be back back but I did want to share this special reflection with you.
The LSE Alumni team got in touch with my team during my sabbatical leave in the summer last year. Although I was quite active during uni- I was the undergrad rep and on governance councils (I know typical) I was pretty shock that they reached out to *me*. Like many of us, I found the whole Uni experience pretty tough, the stress, the high expectations and there was obviously also the rounds of racism along the way. While being invited back felt like some vindication for the success I have, which is in spite of a couple mean Professors I encountered, I didn’t want to lie. Writing several drafts was quite therapeutic, how to express my authenticity, my experience in an honest but respectful way, there were many editions. This became an exercise in unpacking some of the bruised memories I still feel about my whole university experience. So I decided to write the keynote speech I wish I heard 11 (I know) years ago. Please let me know what you think! You can also watch a video of my keynote speech below x
P.s. Thank you LSE Alumni team for this opportunity to create a new special memory!
Feeling Unprepared for adulthood
Congratulations to you all!!
What a real pleasure to be invited back to LSE and be with you all today.
My name is Seyi Akiwowo, I graduated from Social Policy.
11 years ago (believe it or not) I was sitting where you were.
Feeling all the waves of so many emotions.
Relief that exams, essays and early morning lectures are over.
Frustrated and slightly disappointed with some of my exam results
And some of you can finally let go of the guilt and secrecy of hiding books in the library
There’s also layers of nerves:
about the whole graduation ceremony, looking your best of the gram , grandparents and loved ones
not wanting to be that person who trips or who has their names embarrassingly mispronounced
And then top of that there's nerves about what’s next, about the future:
Replaying thoughts of “what I’m I going to do with the rest of my life”
feeling the pressure every-time someone says soooo what are you going to do now you’ve graduated? Or the hearing that big statement “you are the future generation!” and
With the backdrop of all the terrifying and anxiety-inducing news about the economy and the state of the world. I graduated in 2012, in the middle of the Great Recession so I really do understand the conflicting emotions of it all
As I was thinking about what I wanted to say to you all today, there was one particular emotion I remember feeling….
Feeling Unprepared for adulthood.
adults with full autonomy and agency in the world but knowing own the remote controls of adulthood works.
I can tell you a secret that no adult really knows how it works and while that is the scary truth it is also freedom.
It is where you become the full time creative director of your life and that is why I want to spend the next few moments encouraging you to use this time to begin your lifelong journey of self-love in order to make the right decisions for who you really are to make
Over the past 11 years I have the pleasure and opportunities to:
Have been elected as the youngest Black woman Councillor in East London and served my community.
Changed and influenced policy at the United Nations, OECD, European Parliament and most recently the UK’s upcoming Online Safety Bill which will now include women and girls.
Influence social media companies like TikTok, philanthropist like Bill Gates and celebrities like Emma Watson
Travel parts of the world and have fond memories of working in Uganda, Mexico, Montenegro and New York and meeting incredible people
I had the cool opportunity to work on a documentary with Universal Music to celebrate what would have been Bob Marley’s 75th birthday
I also founded and run a multi-award winning Charity called Glitch, I was awarded a fellowship from George Washington University and turned down an MBE award last year.
I didn’t plan for any of these accolades
Instead I set out to figure out how I wanted to be in life and that is what I am most proud of. To be able to look myself in the mirror everyday and be proud of my integrity and who I am in a world that constantly tells us to do more and we aren't enough
Capitalism can have us dismissing wins by quickly going on to the next milestone, the next task on our to do list.
So while you’re thinking about what you want to do next.
I want to encourage you to spend this summer to do two things
celebrate your graduation win
AND Spend this time learning to love yourselves, and work how you want to show up in the world.
Before I end I have 5 lesson from my self-love journey to share with you.
You always have to be intentional about being healthy and that comes from self-worth. Only you are responsible for where and in whom you place your energy and that of course includes our online world
As Black woman growing up and learning to work twice as hard meant I was overextending myself. This was a trauma response that I had to unlearn and disengage from
My intuition and discernment is a gift that requires spaciousness, respect and healthy environments. This means building strength in being alone and healthy than being in unequal partnerships and anxious
Not everyone will understand your self-love journey so boundaries are needed to grow and protect self-validation, self-worth and self-trust
Embodiment Practitioner & Writer Director, Prentis Hemphill says: “Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.”
Get yourself a tribe. Develop rituals with loved ones for how you will honour each other's growth and progress. And remember your tribe shrinks as you get older. That’s okay -it’s always quality not quantity.
So class of 2023, celebrate yourself and your achievements today, surrounded by your loved ones, remember to be in the moment and take this day in. Deeper than that, I encourage you to protect this window of time to learn how to date yourselves, appreciate your achievements AND fall deeply in love with who you are, not just what you can do. A loving relationship with yourself is only relationship that has 100% guarantee.
Totally not the point of the speech but you are AMAZING and I am always in awe of you. Come and see success!!!!